Still Honeymooning

It's an interesting thing being back here at BYU-Idaho as a married student. You see the deliberate and terribly hidden glances directed to your left hand, specifically the ring finger, with every person you meet.
The boys take the ring on your finger as a big red flashing X covering your face. There was a kid in one of my classes who sat by me every day to discuss assignments. However, one day, after realizing I had a ring on my finger he simply stated, "Dang, I didn't realize you're married, sorry but I need to talk to single girls only;  I really want a wife." And with that I never saw him again haha. Honestly it doesn't offend me, I do find it disconcerting that my conversation is only worth while if I am an eventual marriage prospect, but I get it. I think more guys out here should be that dedicated in finding their wives!
The girls who see the ring on my finger have a completely different response! The single girls love to talk to me about my husband and our dating story story and ask all these details about marriage and our life together. The married girls who realize I'm a member of the club instantly become my friend. Unless they have kids, that's a completely different exclusive club out here that I haven't been initiated into yet :)
One of my classes requires a lot of group work and in my group there is one married guy, 3 single girls, 1 engaged girl, me and one married girl who just had a baby. Somehow when we all get together the single girls start asking us lots of questions and wanting to talk about all sorts of married life things and we accomplish far less than we set out to.
One day in particular was kind of interesting. I was getting ready to actually do our school work when one of the girls asked me, "Are you and Fran still in love? Like are you guys still in the honeymoon stage or is that over already?"
It was kind of a funny question to just throw out there but I think my response was along the lines of, "um..what?" She then restated her question and I just told her, "If by the honeymoon stage you mean am I still obsessed with him? The answer is yes! You'd have to ask him however if he's still obsessed with me."
We continued to talk a little bit more and somehow I was able to reel her back in to the task at hand, Sociology of Religion.
However I went home thinking a lot about what she had asked me.
I remember when Fran and I were getting married hearing the joking yet slightly snide comments along the lines of "just wait till you've been married 10 years with kids, then you will be okay with some space from him" or "you only think that's cute about him because you are newlyweds, just give it a few years". I found it kind of sad how people looked at my love for Fran as juvenile and almost naive. Like I was only crazy about him because I didn't really know what long periods of time felt like with him at this point in my marriage, but just wait.
However I just have to say, I married my best friend (I know a lot of girls say that because it's the 'cool' thing to say but I actually did) and the reason I did that is because I wanted to spend my time with him. I wanted to build a life with him and there's nothing wrong with me being sad when he goes to play soccer for an hour and I miss him. There's nothing wrong with thinking he's the funniest person on this Earth who has the best dance moves and the cutest butt. And there's nothing wrong with being completely obsessed with my husband. And I plan on that never changing. I also promise to never be the lady who looks at a couple crazy in love and thinks, "oh just wait, it's only because they're in the honeymoon stage."

5.17.13 Our Prime Number Wedding Day

I started this blog as a way to fulfill a wife duty.

Clearly, due to my lack of posts, I haven't been taking that duty very seriously! 

But I've been married a year and that at least deserves a post.

First I want to talk about all that Francisco and I have accomplished this year:

• purchased our first car
• got our own insurance
• joined bank accounts
• Fran got his official license
• Fran's green card was finally approved; my husband is from Brazil if you didn't know
• We drove 1,400 miles in a U-Haul with our car hitched on the back to move from STL to Rexburg, ID for school, that's a 23 hr drive. Fran drove the entire thing...straight through!
• Got our first married apartment
• Both got back into school
• I got my first 4.0 ever and decided my major: Psychology with an emphasis in Sociology
• Fran got a 3.8 (so close) and decided to major in Exercise Physiology- that means he can graduate and have options of medical school, dental school or physical therapy school! So proud. 
• Laid hardwood floor together
• Fran going to conference at the Conference Center in SLC for the first time
• Went to Vegas and California for the first time
• Sea World for the first time
• WE GOT A PUPPY (Guster Augustus Segundo)! And Fran loves him just as much as me, believe it or not! 
• Opened credit cards for our move; then paid them off! 
• Blew a tire on a busy highway!
• Watched as Fran becomes the soccer/futsol God at BYU-Idaho
• I learned how to make pao de queijo finally; delicious Brasilian cheese bread
• Got my family addicted to Sequence
• Sent out the first Segundo family Christmas Card
• Realized that we both have the BEST in-laws. 
• Cried in multiple public places; financial aid office, government buildings, even target a few times haha. Fran sees it as a secret weapon to get what we need now. I'm just embarrassed.
• Skied for the first time
• Play with and touch dolphins
• Learned how to have a 2 person family home evening lesson
• Saw Cirque Du Soleil
• Fran died my hair himself!
• Been there for Shane's and Ayala's mission calls
• Survived a Rexburg Winter; with no slipping and falling on the ice might I add
• Took up Racquetball and Rock Climbing together 
• Learned how to grocery shop and guess the total; throwing things off the belt so your card doesn't decline! 
• Became regulars at many thrift stores
• Fran traveled across the U.S. with his big boy job; I got to say my husband is traveling for work; so fancy haha.
• Attended a murder mystery dinner
• I ran my first half marathon with my sister Carly; Fran was at the finish line...eating pie haha
• First married Christmas together-basically means we had to give up presents to be able to be with our families in ATL and STL. But that's all we really wanted for Christmas and New Years. 
• Became a part of our first married ward. They are just as entertaining here as the singles wards. 
• Got a 72 hour kit- planned a family emergency plan- we feel old.
• Laughed every day of the 365 days. Seriously. Have you met my husband? 

I'm sure there's a ton more I can't think of right now but this at least gives you a sample. 

I can't believe everything we have done in a year!

What Fran said he wasn't expecting about marriage/ what he was surprised to find out this first year:

• How much stuff I need in the bathroom- to try to make it easier on himself he built cute storage helps around the mirror for make up and hair products and a holder for my hair dryer; I try to use them haha. 
• That he would have ever agreed to getting a puppy and then actually loved said puppy.
• How not hard the first year of marriage was. We had many people telling us that the first year of marriage is so hard; the hardest one. We were both a little freaked out getting this kind of feedback and I have to say that I don't think it was hard. I'm definitely not saying that it's been perfect and hasn't hard trying times but we just get along so well and we communicate and work through trials together well. Learning to live together hasn't been hard for us. I'm grateful it wasn't as hard as I was expecting! 
• How much of the bed someone so small and skinny can take up. The whole bed is hers; I'm just lucky if she allows me a sliver of the edge haha
• She is cold ALL the time! She will sit in front of the heater all day if she can. In sweats and with a blanket. It's been a war over controlling the thermostat. 

What Jenna said she wasn't expecting about marriage/what she was surprised to find out this first year:

• How particular, for lack of a better word, Fran is. I could see hints of it before we got married but he is the most clean and organized man I know haha. Hey I'm not complaining. It's the best. When he cleans, cooks, cuts his hair, works on school or even plays Ticket to Ride I can see those OCD tendencies take over :) I count it as a blessing!
• How much I love sharing a bed! I know that he says I take it all for myself but that's usually as the night goes on! I'm not aware of it so I can't be hold accountable. Pillow talk is my favorite time. He often says I get a burst of energy just as we are supposed to be sleeping haha. I just love talking to him after a long day and getting to share a bed with him. 
• How differently we view money. It's been something we have both learned to give on. I'm definitely the spender and he's the saver. I remember hearing that couples fight a lot over money and being sure we wouldn't be that way. Well I forgot that my spending habits before we got married didn't bother him but that was because it was my money. Now it is our money and we have a lot more expenses haha. I can say that we don't fight about money. I just see the stress it can cause. We both have learned this first year how to compromise a lot with the finances.  

I have to say that I count myself as the most blessed lady in the world. I am building a life with my best friend and love. I try daily not to take that for granted and try to remember always the blessings my Heavenly Father has surrounded me with. 

I will never forget a year ago being surrounded by friends and family as I knelt across my husband in the St. Louis temple and was sealed to him for eternity. I can vividly replay that precious moment of looking in his eyes the peace and joy I felt. 

I thought I knew how amazing Fran was before that moment. I had no idea. This year as I have seen him in so many situations and gotten lucky enough to be his wife I have seen how purely good and kind my husband is to his very core. He is my greatest decision and I'm so lucky that he chooses me every day. 

Our life is not perfect. We have so much growing to do and are constantly apologizing and learning from each other. But I have learned that's what this life is about. Those are the imperfections that make our life together so perfect (cheesy I know). We are real. We are flawed. We are best friends. We are ridicuslously in love and above all,

We are blessed. 

Here's to forever!

The Segundos 

a video sampling of our year! 

                                           

Okay, well the rest of the videos aren't working right now and it's my bedtime :) Maybe I will post some more tomorrow! 

Changes

I wouldn't say I'm one of those people who hate change. I've learned that change is good and ultimately you grow every time you choose to change for the better. A little discomfort, caused by change, is good for you. Going out of your comfort zone makes you a better person. And ultimately even if it's scary, changing because you're following the Spirit will always lead to great blessings in the future.

All of this being said, CHANGE IS THE WORST!
I don't want to go out of my comfort zone. I like comfort.  
Being a grown up is hard. I miss the times when all I worried about was if my mom was going to let me have dessert that night with my dinner.

In a week Fran and I are getting a U-Haul, hitching our cute sonata behind and driving 1,400 miles together to our new home for the next few years. Rexburg, ID.

I feel like a crazy person because there are reasons I'm so excited to start this adventure with my husband and there are reasons why I feel like I'm constantly having an anxiety attack about them.

 

These are my worries summed up really fast and kinda compressed into the craziness that I feel. Mainly I hate leaving people that I love. My family is my everything. Leaving my Parents and Cassie and my Grandma Jo and Pompa breaks my heart. And then to make it worse I have to leave John and Lainey the two kids I've absolutely fallen in love with and given my everything into loving them and helping them grow. 

I'm scared. And Anxious. And excited. 

But mostly I'm moving forward with Faith.

Fran and I have prayed and prayed and have felt like yes, the best thing for our little family is for us to move out to Rexburg, ID.  

The best way I can describe what I'm feeling is this quote from Lemony Snicket's Book "A Series of Unfortunate Events", 

"It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark,

and thinking there is one more stair than there is.

Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment

of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things."

I don't mean this to sound negative. Because I don't feel negative about all of this change. It's just change, a readjusting, in a way I didn't expect. 

 

So here's to moving forward with faith. And change.

Elder Shane Frazier

A week ago my sweet younger brother Shane left on his mission. For people who aren't familiar with this process it's a two year commitment that Shane has made to teach the people in Sau Paulo, Brazil the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We won't get to see him for two years or talk to him besides email and letters, except for on Mother's Day and Christmas Day. He doesn't watch TV or listen to music besides gospel centered music, he doesn't have a cell phone, he wears a white shirt and tie every day and he gets paid nothing. He will spend his time walking around the streets of Brazil serving the people and teaching them about Jesus Christ. A lot of people wonder why in the world an 18 year old would put off their life for two years, being away from family and normal life, to do this. Well first of all Shane is doing it because he's an incredible young man. He's not the typical self centered teenager that most people think of. He has goals, he looks out for others but most of all he has a testimony of the gospel. My family and I are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or as most people think of it, the Mormon Church. To find more about our Church you can go to Mormon.org
It's a site all about our church and it has testimonies of every day people and what they believe and how the church affects their every day life!

 

I have one on their too but it's a little out dated! I need to update it but my basic beliefs are on there. So feel free to search for me!
I miss Shane so much already but when we got an email from him on Tuesday it really confirmed to me that he's doing the Lord's work and that he is exactly where he needs to be. I'm so incredibly proud of him!
So he left for the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT where he will be for six weeks and then hopefully his visa to Brazil will have come so he can head straight to Sau Paulo! Wherever he is though, I know he's going to be blessing people's lives! So proud of Elder Shane Frazier!

Our Life Together

Believe it or not our married life is pretty normal!
We are living in St. Louis, MO right now both working full time so we can save money before Francisco starts school again in the Fall. (We will be heading out to Rexburg, ID at the end of August)

I nanny full time for the cutest family! They have two kids, John and Lainey and they have pretty much become part of our family. I've been watching them since January and originally just had Lainey during the day while John was at Preschool. But now that it's summer I have both of them. This job has made me have so much more respect for full time Moms and moms in general. It has been more exhausting than any other job I have had but I still love it!

Francisco works full time at a company called MilliCare. He got hooked up with this job right when he came home from his mission and moved to STL because some good friends of ours own the business. It has been a huge blessing. The only downside is he works nights :( So most days he starts work at 4:30 pm and I'm lucky if he's home by 1:00 a.m. It's not uncommon for him to get home around 4:30 am, not that I'm even slightly coherent at the time haha. 

So we definitely have to get creative these days to be able to see each other! I'm lucky though because even if he comes home at 4:30 am he will usually still come and hang out with me and the kids during the day. Which I love! The kids think he's the coolest, they are easily fooled :) The other day John even informed me that Fran is his Dad! That was an interesting conversation haha. But we both have Saturdays off so that is our typical day to hang out and have date nights which are my sanity for the week.

Some of our current favorite things to do together are:

• going to Goodwill and other thrift shops to find random good deals
• watching Parks and Recreation or The Walking Dead
• going to 24 hr. fitness to work out and then play 1 on 1 basketball or around the world
• walking around Sam's club with our recently purchased membership and then eating at the cafeteria there (best pizza and hot dogs around!) 
• we love being outside together at Forest Park or anywhere really although I'm a huge baby with this heat and humidity. So recently we don't do that very much :)
• walking around the mall and pretending we have money to spend on all the things we want. Usually Fran will let me walk away with at least one item if I can build a strong enough case as to why it's such a good deal and why I need it. Believe it or not even with how much of a penny pincher he is I can be pretty convincing! 
• playing Sequence! We have also gotten my family addicted to this game as well (which we found brand new at Goodwill for $6) it's usually best for our marriage if me and Fran are on the same team together haha. 
• watching Soccer together. Anyone who knows my husband knows how deep his passion and obsession for Soccer goes and I fully support it. Usually I will watch with him or cook a good snack for him (trying to be domestic) while he watches. It's my favorite to see how excited he gets during the games especially when Brazil plays!
• playing Fifa while I read a book. I was lucky enough to marry someone who is not addicted to video games! Thank the Lord! But he does love to play Fifa sometimes especially with my brother. So while he does that I usually read by him so we are still together but lost in our own fictional worlds!                        

But mostly I would say my days and nights consist of hanging out with my best friend and constantly laughing...seriously. I can easily say that our life might be a lot of things and have a lot of stresses but I have never once been bored! And I'm so grateful for that!

Our Dating Story

This might possibly be the most complicated dating story if I go into all the details of everything we went through and everything that happened in the 4 years that we dated. Most of you have been there for all the ins and outs so I will just outline the basic high points:

  

• Met in September of 2009 at BYU-Idaho (same ward and FHE family)
• Started dating the end of November
• First time we said "I love you" December 8th, 2009
• Long distance relationship from ATL to STL from January 2010-July 2010
• July 2010 Francisco left to Serve an LDS mission in Raleigh NC
• Returned March 13th 2013
• Proposed to me on March 24th 2013 (yep, that quick haha)
• Married May 17th, 2013

As you can see there's lots of details that are left out in just the basic bullet points of our dating experience. I would never have time to write out everything that has happend but there are a few things that stand out to me:

• I told him that I wanted to date him before he even showed interest in me
• I knew I would marry him within a week of dating him: without a doubt
• I fell in love with his family the first time I met them, New Years Eve of 2009
• I swore I would never wait for a missionary and I not only waited for a total of 2 years and 10 months but I also was completely faithful, lets be honest, who could compare to him??
• Went and visited his family multiple times while he was in NC, one of the times was during Christmas 2010 and another time was for the birth of his little brother Noah September of 2012
• I became best friends with the post office workers in Utah, also found out I'm very OCD about packages and letters
• I had the most supportive friends and family who knew I was serious when I said I was marrying him and who believed in us and supported me every step of the way 
• I started planning our wedding (with his permission haha) before he even got home (buying wedding dress, planning venues, bought his wedding ring)

There's so much more I could say and honestly as you can see, our relationship has not always been easy or even close to convenient. But through all the stress and tears and time spent apart and waiting I can say that our relationship worked out the exact way it needed to. Because of everything we went through:

• I learned I could trust him and that doesn't come easy as many people know
• I found my absolute best friend, I know everyone says that, but I really did. Yes we have the romance and butterflies and fairy tale moments but I know that when I'm old and we've lost our obvious good looks, that we will still be talking about everything and he will still be making me laugh all the time and honestly that's what matters most
• I truly learned for myself that I know this Gospel is true and also knew that the man I love would be a worthy priesthood holder and would be someone who puts God first 
• I learned that I'm safe with him; forever
• I fell even more in love with his family 
• I got my priorities straight and became the person who deserved him
• I learned to trust myself and the feelings that I have no matter what others say
• And I learned how much I truly loved Francisco and how lucky I really am

I don't know if that even all makes sense but if nothing else know this:

Every second of those 4 years were worth it!