Changes

I wouldn't say I'm one of those people who hate change. I've learned that change is good and ultimately you grow every time you choose to change for the better. A little discomfort, caused by change, is good for you. Going out of your comfort zone makes you a better person. And ultimately even if it's scary, changing because you're following the Spirit will always lead to great blessings in the future.

All of this being said, CHANGE IS THE WORST!
I don't want to go out of my comfort zone. I like comfort.  
Being a grown up is hard. I miss the times when all I worried about was if my mom was going to let me have dessert that night with my dinner.

In a week Fran and I are getting a U-Haul, hitching our cute sonata behind and driving 1,400 miles together to our new home for the next few years. Rexburg, ID.

I feel like a crazy person because there are reasons I'm so excited to start this adventure with my husband and there are reasons why I feel like I'm constantly having an anxiety attack about them.

 

These are my worries summed up really fast and kinda compressed into the craziness that I feel. Mainly I hate leaving people that I love. My family is my everything. Leaving my Parents and Cassie and my Grandma Jo and Pompa breaks my heart. And then to make it worse I have to leave John and Lainey the two kids I've absolutely fallen in love with and given my everything into loving them and helping them grow. 

I'm scared. And Anxious. And excited. 

But mostly I'm moving forward with Faith.

Fran and I have prayed and prayed and have felt like yes, the best thing for our little family is for us to move out to Rexburg, ID.  

The best way I can describe what I'm feeling is this quote from Lemony Snicket's Book "A Series of Unfortunate Events", 

"It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark,

and thinking there is one more stair than there is.

Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment

of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things."

I don't mean this to sound negative. Because I don't feel negative about all of this change. It's just change, a readjusting, in a way I didn't expect. 

 

So here's to moving forward with faith. And change.

Elder Shane Frazier

A week ago my sweet younger brother Shane left on his mission. For people who aren't familiar with this process it's a two year commitment that Shane has made to teach the people in Sau Paulo, Brazil the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We won't get to see him for two years or talk to him besides email and letters, except for on Mother's Day and Christmas Day. He doesn't watch TV or listen to music besides gospel centered music, he doesn't have a cell phone, he wears a white shirt and tie every day and he gets paid nothing. He will spend his time walking around the streets of Brazil serving the people and teaching them about Jesus Christ. A lot of people wonder why in the world an 18 year old would put off their life for two years, being away from family and normal life, to do this. Well first of all Shane is doing it because he's an incredible young man. He's not the typical self centered teenager that most people think of. He has goals, he looks out for others but most of all he has a testimony of the gospel. My family and I are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or as most people think of it, the Mormon Church. To find more about our Church you can go to Mormon.org
It's a site all about our church and it has testimonies of every day people and what they believe and how the church affects their every day life!

 

I have one on their too but it's a little out dated! I need to update it but my basic beliefs are on there. So feel free to search for me!
I miss Shane so much already but when we got an email from him on Tuesday it really confirmed to me that he's doing the Lord's work and that he is exactly where he needs to be. I'm so incredibly proud of him!
So he left for the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT where he will be for six weeks and then hopefully his visa to Brazil will have come so he can head straight to Sau Paulo! Wherever he is though, I know he's going to be blessing people's lives! So proud of Elder Shane Frazier!

Our Life Together

Believe it or not our married life is pretty normal!
We are living in St. Louis, MO right now both working full time so we can save money before Francisco starts school again in the Fall. (We will be heading out to Rexburg, ID at the end of August)

I nanny full time for the cutest family! They have two kids, John and Lainey and they have pretty much become part of our family. I've been watching them since January and originally just had Lainey during the day while John was at Preschool. But now that it's summer I have both of them. This job has made me have so much more respect for full time Moms and moms in general. It has been more exhausting than any other job I have had but I still love it!

Francisco works full time at a company called MilliCare. He got hooked up with this job right when he came home from his mission and moved to STL because some good friends of ours own the business. It has been a huge blessing. The only downside is he works nights :( So most days he starts work at 4:30 pm and I'm lucky if he's home by 1:00 a.m. It's not uncommon for him to get home around 4:30 am, not that I'm even slightly coherent at the time haha. 

So we definitely have to get creative these days to be able to see each other! I'm lucky though because even if he comes home at 4:30 am he will usually still come and hang out with me and the kids during the day. Which I love! The kids think he's the coolest, they are easily fooled :) The other day John even informed me that Fran is his Dad! That was an interesting conversation haha. But we both have Saturdays off so that is our typical day to hang out and have date nights which are my sanity for the week.

Some of our current favorite things to do together are:

• going to Goodwill and other thrift shops to find random good deals
• watching Parks and Recreation or The Walking Dead
• going to 24 hr. fitness to work out and then play 1 on 1 basketball or around the world
• walking around Sam's club with our recently purchased membership and then eating at the cafeteria there (best pizza and hot dogs around!) 
• we love being outside together at Forest Park or anywhere really although I'm a huge baby with this heat and humidity. So recently we don't do that very much :)
• walking around the mall and pretending we have money to spend on all the things we want. Usually Fran will let me walk away with at least one item if I can build a strong enough case as to why it's such a good deal and why I need it. Believe it or not even with how much of a penny pincher he is I can be pretty convincing! 
• playing Sequence! We have also gotten my family addicted to this game as well (which we found brand new at Goodwill for $6) it's usually best for our marriage if me and Fran are on the same team together haha. 
• watching Soccer together. Anyone who knows my husband knows how deep his passion and obsession for Soccer goes and I fully support it. Usually I will watch with him or cook a good snack for him (trying to be domestic) while he watches. It's my favorite to see how excited he gets during the games especially when Brazil plays!
• playing Fifa while I read a book. I was lucky enough to marry someone who is not addicted to video games! Thank the Lord! But he does love to play Fifa sometimes especially with my brother. So while he does that I usually read by him so we are still together but lost in our own fictional worlds!                        

But mostly I would say my days and nights consist of hanging out with my best friend and constantly laughing...seriously. I can easily say that our life might be a lot of things and have a lot of stresses but I have never once been bored! And I'm so grateful for that!

Our Dating Story

This might possibly be the most complicated dating story if I go into all the details of everything we went through and everything that happened in the 4 years that we dated. Most of you have been there for all the ins and outs so I will just outline the basic high points:

  

• Met in September of 2009 at BYU-Idaho (same ward and FHE family)
• Started dating the end of November
• First time we said "I love you" December 8th, 2009
• Long distance relationship from ATL to STL from January 2010-July 2010
• July 2010 Francisco left to Serve an LDS mission in Raleigh NC
• Returned March 13th 2013
• Proposed to me on March 24th 2013 (yep, that quick haha)
• Married May 17th, 2013

As you can see there's lots of details that are left out in just the basic bullet points of our dating experience. I would never have time to write out everything that has happend but there are a few things that stand out to me:

• I told him that I wanted to date him before he even showed interest in me
• I knew I would marry him within a week of dating him: without a doubt
• I fell in love with his family the first time I met them, New Years Eve of 2009
• I swore I would never wait for a missionary and I not only waited for a total of 2 years and 10 months but I also was completely faithful, lets be honest, who could compare to him??
• Went and visited his family multiple times while he was in NC, one of the times was during Christmas 2010 and another time was for the birth of his little brother Noah September of 2012
• I became best friends with the post office workers in Utah, also found out I'm very OCD about packages and letters
• I had the most supportive friends and family who knew I was serious when I said I was marrying him and who believed in us and supported me every step of the way 
• I started planning our wedding (with his permission haha) before he even got home (buying wedding dress, planning venues, bought his wedding ring)

There's so much more I could say and honestly as you can see, our relationship has not always been easy or even close to convenient. But through all the stress and tears and time spent apart and waiting I can say that our relationship worked out the exact way it needed to. Because of everything we went through:

• I learned I could trust him and that doesn't come easy as many people know
• I found my absolute best friend, I know everyone says that, but I really did. Yes we have the romance and butterflies and fairy tale moments but I know that when I'm old and we've lost our obvious good looks, that we will still be talking about everything and he will still be making me laugh all the time and honestly that's what matters most
• I truly learned for myself that I know this Gospel is true and also knew that the man I love would be a worthy priesthood holder and would be someone who puts God first 
• I learned that I'm safe with him; forever
• I fell even more in love with his family 
• I got my priorities straight and became the person who deserved him
• I learned to trust myself and the feelings that I have no matter what others say
• And I learned how much I truly loved Francisco and how lucky I really am

I don't know if that even all makes sense but if nothing else know this:

Every second of those 4 years were worth it!